Dessert Time
by superstarultra
Summary: Our favorite Lunar Diviner has found himself the target of a very nasty prank.


**A/N: Ahhhh, 358/2 Days... Why must we wait so long for you? Why?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of its characters. **

Saix strode down one of the numerous white corridors of the Castle That Never Was with a dark frown on his face. The reason for said frown? It was because Saix was angry. No wait, angry wasn't the word. He wasn't furious either.

No, he was pissedoff to the point of no return.

Ever since he joined this Organization, he'd been constantly used as an object of ridicule by the neophytes. He could tolerate their immature behavior to an extent, but eventually the straw would break the berserker's back.

And today was the day that straw was broken, spanked, drowned, burned, and suffocated with a pillow.

Due to his rather beastly appearance, Saix found himself the target of many a cruel practical joke. He'd had his hair dyed, his x-shaped scar used as a target(a certain sniper and knife-thrower came to mind), called every dog name in the book, was once turned into a wolf for a day(Vexen _claimed_ it was an accident), and even had his very name mocked.

His name definitely didn't sound like **sex **in foreign accent.

But Saix always found himself as the center of Roxas and Axel's web of tricks. The two nobodies aggravated him to no end with their antics and once he'd caught up with them, they'd apologize and swear never to misbehave again. Xemnas always bought it, but only because Roxas was the key to all their plans and Axel was actually a fairly competent field agent. If it hadn't been for those abilities, Xemnas would have turned them both into Dusks ages ago.

Saix had once overheard Axel say to Xemnas that the reason the berserker was so grumpy was because he didn't know what was funny.

Bullshit.

Drawing a face on the viewing window of the Addled Impasse, so it would look like Kingdom Hearts was smiling and winking was not funny at all.

And now this..... was just completely _**unforgivable**_.

Saix cherished his Superior and Kingdom Hearts above all else, but the only other thing he actually gave even a semblance of 'love' towards was for his claymore, the Lunatic. He'd slain many a Heartless with it and swinging it through the air in battle made him feel alive, in a sense. But now he couldn't even do that today!

The reason for that being was that Xemnas had assigned him to exterminate a group of Neoshadows that had breached the castle's basement and were currently being confined within. When Saix had summoned his claymore that morning, he blinked in confusion several times.

It wasn't that his weapon didn't materialize in his outstretched hand. No, no Saix would definitely be the first to know if his weapon had gone missing or not.

It was just that when he opened his eyes, Saix saw something in his hand that was definitely **not **his beloved Lunatic.

Not unless his claymore was actually a bright yellow color instead of blue.

It felt like a banana.

It smelled like a banana.

It looked like a banana.

It _**was**_ a banana.

Saix was holding a giant banana instead of his claymore.

...

...

...

...

"**GRAAAAAAHHHH!**"

And that is how Saix ended up in the hallway, holding a banana that was at least five-feet long in his right hand, whilst cursing the nonexistence of his fellow members. At least it smelled nice and sweet.

"How dare they do this to me!" he growled under his breath. "Once I find out who's responsible for this outrage, I'm going to slowly pull out all of their teeth one at a time. Then it's all just a simple matter of force-feeding them everything single tooth right after...."

Saix continued to walk and think of torture methods for his harasser(s), not caring where he was going. The castle wing he was currently in was completely devoid of any other beings besides himself since most of them had gone out on missions. Still, it was a good thing he had been in his room when he summoned the fruit or he'd have been laughed right out of the Organization.

He was more irritated of the fact that he wouldn't be able to kill any Heartless today. What was he going to do; FEED them to death?

_'Who could have done this to you, Lunatic!? Perhaps it was Marluxia... Yes it has to be him! He's always going on about the power of Mother Nature and all that green thumb crap... Or it could be Larxene! Yes that conniving little siren wants me to think it was him so I wouldn't think it was her! Ingenious! No wait! It's probably Vexen! Yes, another one of his tricks disguised as an experiment no doubt......' _ Saix's brain was overcome with paranoia, coming up with plausible and slightly insane theories to who had wronged him. Maybe he had said something awhile back to one of them and they had come for some payback.

Karma sucks.

It was in the middle of wondering to who he had last spoken to recently, that Saix heard something echo in the hallway. It was a relatively low sound but Saix's acute sense of hearing picked it up. It sounded like a.......... chuckle?

Yes it actually was.....

Someone was laughing.

At him.

"WHO'S THERE!?!" yelled Saix, whirling around to see the edge of a black cloak disappearing down a corridor he had just passed. Saix practically flew down the hall and turned the corner, only to see tell-tale wisps of darkness from a disappearing portal. Damn it.

Well it wasn't a total loss; at least he now knew the identity of his tormentor. It was hard to forget a laugh like that. Seriously, make one observation about a teammate's height (or lack thereof) and he turns your weapon into a banana? What's up with that?

"I'm going to make you pay for this Zexion," Saix snarled. "When I get my hands on you, I'm going to peel off all of your skin like this... BANANA!!!"

Saix summoned his own portal that would lead him to the schemer's room, where he would lie in wait for the little punk. If Zexion refused to change his weapon back, then there would be a very _messy _problem.

Just as he was about to step through the portal, an idea popped up in his brain. A particularly cruel one. He'd deal with Zexion later. This was too good an opportunity to pass up.

Wearing a grin that was usually reserved for serial killers, Saix changed the portal's course so it would take him directly to_ Axel's_ room instead. Axel wouldn't be back from his mission in Twilight Town with Roxas for a few hours, but Saix didn't care. It would be worth the wait. In the back of his mind, Saix was glad he had been the one that Xemnas assigned to do the background research on each of all of their newer members. If he hadn't, Saix wouldn't have learned that Axel's other had a severe allergic reaction to bananas.

Oh yes, revenge would be sweeter than any fruit. Oh yes indeed.

**A/N: Well that's my story. Make sure to leave a review!**


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